I have received healing. I have received freedom. I have received new hope!
I am a young girl who used to be naïve and innocent. I trusted everyone in my family and never thought they would do something to harm me. I never imagined that I would face a terrible incident that would bring so much pain.
When I was 15 years old I was tricked by my stepfather to go out into the fields with him. At first I didn’t suspect anything because I trusted and loved my stepfather as my own true father. When we were away from others, he forced me to have sex with him. He raped me. After he was finished he threatened me saying, “Don’t tell anyone what happened. If anyone knows, you’ll be killed.” I was so scared and felt like my life was ruined and worthless. I was hopeless. Finally, I gathered my courage and ignored his threats. I decided to tell my mom everything that he did because I believed that my mom would protect me. My mom listened to me and she and another family member reported the crime to the police. Others came to help us process the case. In the end, my stepfather was prosecuted and went to jail.
I feel so thankful for the Ezekiel Rain Foundation who played a part in helping me and in walking with me in the process of healing my heart. I was in the therapy process using the curriculum “Treasured One” for almost one year. In the past year, I have learned to understand myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, and my experiences. I understand the truth of my new identity and have received new life. I have learned that the process of healing in my heart is important. I used to think that I don’t need to go back and think about what happened in the past, but if I just let it be in the past I’ll be able to forget about it. However, I still felt pain and the picture of what happened was in my thoughts and heart all the time until I started to see that I hadn’t received true healing in my heart.
Through this process I’ve learned and come to understand that this awful experience that happened in the past cannot determine my future! I was deeply hurt and saddened by this terrible experience. I still remember what happened that day. It is trauma I need to give time to it and I need to accept the feelings that are very painful. I can come out from the place of pain by learning and understanding it. It is just the past and cannot decide my life in the present or future. It has no power to make me fearful once I’ve received freedom from it and there’s no going back! When I think about or go back to that event, if I feel afraid or hurt I just take those feelings and give them to God and God heals me from fear and gives me happiness. Now I am no longer in a place of feeling pain or sadness.
I am a new person who laughs, smiles, and shows happiness that comes from inside of me. I can be one who gives counsel to others who have problems that come into their lives! Now I am studying law because in the future I want to be a lawyer or a social worker. I want to help people who are vulnerable and people who have been sexually abused. I want to see them receive freedom and have new hope in the same way I’ve received healing from the trauma in my own heart.
Finally, I want to thank my mother for never denying how terrible the abuse was that happened to me. If she would have denied what happened and not protected me, my life would have lost all meaning because my mother is the person that I trust more than anyone. She believed me and felt my pain, I love her so much.
(This testimony was written by a young woman in our RESTORE program and translated into English to share with others with her permission.)